Uncertainty
by QuToBeOrNotToBe
Summary: How is one supposed to deal with uncertainty...especially when it is said that uncertainty is the biggest torture in life! Blaine and Kurt's life is at a cover where there is no problem but uncertainty. Their feelings at this moment...


**Author's Note : Hi. This is a small two shot featuring Kurt and Blaine in an alternate universe. Klaine has happened. Both are of the same age and in their senior year. This is just a small insight to their feelings on a certain event that could have taken place/might have taken place.**

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Chapter 1: Kurt's Poem

"I got my letter today," said Blaine quietly over the phone. His voice uncharacteristically devoid of all emotions. He sat rigidly on the edge of his bed with an open letter besides him and the envelope already fluttered to the ground. What was his reaction supposed to be anyway? What emotions was he supposed to show? Was he supposed to be happy? Ecstatic, because this is what he had planned for? Euphoric, because this is everything he had hoped for? In seventh heaven, because this had been what he dreamt of all his life? Or was he supposed to be sad, for it made a very uncertain future. Uncertainty which he had never thought of, when he dreamt this dream. Uncertainty which he never thought would effect him in anyway? Until now.

"What do mean?" asked Kurt, switching from the relaxed, almost horizontal position on his bed, to a proper sitting stance with his feet crossed. Letter? What letter? About what? Was it some acceptance letter to a college? But that cant be possible cause Blaine still hasn't sent out his application letters? Was it a letter from some authorities claiming something? Oh my god! A letter can be from anyone and about anything? What if its from...No no no no! It cant be. It just possibly can't. And what was wrong with Blaine today? He has seemed off for quite a while now. Blaine was usually a person whose words meant less and let his emotions in his voice do the talking. So why was his voice like this today? Why was Blaine talking like this? And what is he talking about? What was going on? It must be extremely serious if Blaine isn't showing any emotions. What is all of this about? He's scaring me. Ugh, I don't do well with uncertainty.

"I've been recruited for the army," replied Blaine.

**_Why do you have to leave,  
__Cant you see what it does to me,  
__Not knowing if you'll every come back,  
__Oh! Just set me free._**

Blaine came over to the Hummel's house, a day his flight left. He came in the early afternoon. A few hours before his fight was scheduled to take off. He specially asked everyone not to come to the airport to see him off. It would just make everything tenfold harder for him and for everyone else.

"Take care of yourself," said Carole, silent tears flowing down her face, as she pulled her almost third son into a hug. How was it that she couldn't stop him? Why was she supposed to be strong and agree with his decision? She was older and she could stop him, but why were those words stuck in her mouth? Was it because she knew this was the way he would be able to make his dreams come true? And what was she supposed to say? What is one supposed to say when one's son is going off into the army, not even knowing when or if he was going to come back...ever? How is she going to be able to cope with this uncertainty?

"I'm so very proud of you kiddo," said Burt, patting Blaine on the back. This was the kid who faced all these hardships. First from his bullies at school, his parents, majority of the world and yet he wasn't deterred. The kid who brought sunshine wherever he went. Who made it a job to make sure everyone was happy, no matter what he went through. That guy finally got what he dreamt of. Finally the world was being fair to him. He was finally getting what he deserved. Not that this was exactly what he had hoped a son of his would dream of, but you cant control dreams can you? He was certain that Blaine was strong both physically and mentally, but no matter how strong the future would always hold this dreaded uncertainty.

"We're gonna miss you dude," said Finn,as Blaine drew away from Carole's hug and high-fived him , "Come back soon man. I know that I'm not that great at saying stuff and I can really be extremely dumb sometimes, but what I'm really trying to say is that you are family to me. If I could think of a song right now I'd definitely go into glee mode and sing but umm I'm not sure there is any song which can express what I'm feeling right now so I'll just have to go with words, which I'm not really that great at. I hope your getting what I'm trying to say. So ya... And kick some ass."

With a small watery smile directed towards Finn, Blaine turned to Kurt.

Oh my gaga, was it his turn already? Where did the minutes fly by? What was he going to say? Would he be able to say anything at all? Or would he just breakdown and cry. Maybe that's the trick. Blaine would see and then he wouldn't leave cause he can't hurt me. NO! I can't be that selfish. I cant believe I even thought that. What happening to me? I'm not like this. I'm supportive. The entire nine days they had tried to spend as much time together as they could. Not because it was goodbye. Never goodbye. Because they wanted enough memories to help them survive the upcoming time. Would Blaine say bye to me or would he just leave just like that?

They continued to just look at each other. Drinking each other in for as long as possible. And then slowly breaking contact Blaine picked up his duffel bag from the living room and walked to the front door, the rest of the family walking with him. The last few minutes of his presence in their lives till...well they didn't really know. This uncertainty was the one thing that haunted their very core.

**_Your face is turned,  
__And your hand is on the knob,  
__I wait for you to turn,  
__So we can finish the goodbye job._**

With each step Blaine picked up speed. Like he could wait to just get out. Leave everything. Everything that was keeping him back, everything that was affecting him. Everything that had a hold over him.

Every person in that room had a bond with him. He was family. Every object seemed to be a reminder of the times spent with Blaine.

Every memory. The house was full of memories with him. Their cookie fights, their sexy experiment, their first date, their first fight, friday night family dinners, christmas, thanksgiving... their first i-love-you's!

His first step towards the door...No! Blaine don't go.

His second step forward...You cant. You cant leave me, leave us.

The third step..Please..just...dont go.

The fourth...Im begging you Blaine.

Fifth...I cant live without you.

Sixth...I love you! And that is something I'm never going to be uncertain about.

**_The minutes pass by,  
__And I start to shake,  
__The harder that I try,  
__The faster my facade seems to break._**

Turn back atleast once Blaine please. I need to see your face atleast once. Once. I cant let you go without seeing your face one last time. I can handle the emotions in your eyes babe. I can handle everything, please just do this for me one.

How am I supposed to go on with my life as you told me to? How is that supposed to work out hun?!

"Please Blaine..." whispered Kurt.

And with that Blaine was gone. Though the door, into his future. Leaving everyone and everything behind.

And Kurt finally broke down crying. Tears streaming down his cheeks. Barely being able to breath.

**_I thought I knew you,  
__I thought you'd stay,  
__I thought we meant enough to you,  
__For you to find a way._**

On the other side of the door, Blaine sank down on his knees, sobs wracking his entire body. His hands curled around himself to support himself, something that he'd always had Kurt for but was now on his own.

**_I thought miracles could happen,  
__But I guess I was wrong,  
__But somehow I know,  
__Ill still be waiting here,  
__No matter how long._**

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I won't say ' I hope you liked it'...cause it not really something you should like. Its more of something that should touch you, something that should move you, and something that should make you feel. I hope it did something. If it did I would love it if you let me know...through review, pm's...anything.

The words in italics are a poem I wrote a while back when my boyfriend decided to recruit for the navy. It was probably one of the worst few weeks of my entire life. The poem was just a crude way of letting out everything that i was feeling, everything that i was going through, everything that i wanted to say to him but i couldn't because he needed for me to be strong. I was his strength and I'll stay strong for him as long as I need to but this was one of the few small times when my resolve cracked.

SMILY!


End file.
